Abuse Relationship Support

Joy Bringer Blog is to offer support and information to those who find themselves in an abusive realtionship.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

With Tender Hand

Let me tell you a little story that helped me. If you have a dog and by accident you step on the dog’s tail – what does the dog do? Yes it yelps and jumps up and lets you know that stepping on its tail HURT! As women in abusive relationships we allow our tails to be stepped on (so to speak) without yelping and letting it be known what hurts us. If that dog did not yelp and let you know it was hurt when you stepped on it you would probably continue to step on its tail without any concern. Do you see where I’m going with this? In healthy relationships we let it be known what is hurtful to us – if the other person responds with kindness (which is what we hope for) then we know there is hope for continuance in that relationship. If on the other hand, that person just stomps on the tail all the harder and more frequently we then know we must get out of such an environment. If you saw someone else abusing an animal in such a manner what would you do? Undoubtedly, you would try to rescue it. Ok ladies, we need to value ourselves as much as we do our pets! Jesus said, we are of more value than the sparrows and not one sparrow falls on the ground without our Father’s knowledge! I am praying as you read this you feel loved and valuable to the Father up above who is constantly reaching out to you and trying to enfold you in His love!

Monday, June 26, 2006

With Tender Hand

I want to remind you today of something I shared with you in the last blog. Jesus said, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” Well, guess what? You cannot love your neighbor or anyone else around you unless you first love yourself! I want you to answer this question out loud – do you love yourself as Jesus wants you to, with a healthy self respect? Do you tend to your own heart needs? Do you speak up when others cross the boundaries of what is acceptable to you? I want to tell you that Jesus spoke up when the Scribes and Pharisees crossed over the lines of what was acceptable or not! If you’ll take time to look into the New Testament and see the words that He spoke to them you will be amazed at what you find! Somewhere along the line we have been convinced by our “churchy” environment that we should lay down and take everything like a doormat and never utter a word of resistance! This is WRONG! Jesus did not do this except when it came to laying down His life for our redemption. The whole point of His ministry was to FREE the captives, heal the broken-hearted, set the prisoners free, etc. That means US! As women in abusive relationships, we have somewhere along the line lost our sense of who we are and what we were meant to be as well as our own respect for ourselves. I want to point you today to Jesus, the great emancipator who is our glory and the LIFTER up of our head! Won’t you allow Him to reach into your life today and lift you too?

With Tender Hand

These words from a song always make me pray for you who are in abusive relationships and still hurting:

"I heard that you were hurting, that you were suffering pain But I didn't dare just turn my head and look the other way For when your heart is aching, my heart is aching too Let me help you bear you burden, that's the least that I can do"

These lines from the song "Standing In The Gap" truly express my heart and thoughts as I think of each of you. Your emails touch my heart and I continually lift you and your situation up in my prayers. I know that Jesus loves you and cares about your pain.
I want you to realize this week that in order for your situation to change, you need to start loving yourself in a healthy manner. Jesus said that we were to "love our neighbor as we love ourselves" You cannot love your neighbor or anyone else the way you should or could unless you are loving yourself in a healthy manner. I encourage you to take some time today to think about how you can do this a little better. What really is sheer enjoyment to you? It may be something very simple, but you need to allow yourself (that walk in the park, that bubble bath, time by yourself, or whatever it is). When you start to love yourself and treat yourself with respect, those around you will start to treat you differently also.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

With Tender Hand

Another verse from the hymn, “He Lifted Me”, that I want to share with you today:
“His brow was pierced with many a thorn,
His hands by cruel nails were torn
When from my guilt and grief forlorn,
In love He lifted me.”

Something that really helped me when I was spending more time crying than anything else, was the realization that Jesus “was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” – I don’t know how that hits you – but it opened my eyes to know that I was not alone in my grief. It made me feel that maybe Jesus did care. He did, I just could not perceive it then. I want you to know that abuse is very real and there are no “pat” answers. Christians have all sorts of “remedies” for us that when we hear we just want to scream – “shut up” you don’t know what you’re saying, it doesn’t work for me.” When Jesus came to the tomb of Lazarus it says, “He wept.” He did not weep because Lazarus was dead or because He did not know what to do – He wept with his friends as he experienced their grief! I just want you to know today that HE feels your griefs, His heart is touched with your pain. I know our Savior cares. May this thought bring comfort to your dear heart today.