Abuse Relationship Support

Prayer for Restoration

2007-03-04T13:32:00.000-05:00

A Prayer for Restoring the Soul:

Father, I come to You in the name of Jesus Christ and I ask You to send angels to gather and restore my soul to its rightful place in me with the full power and authority of Jesus Christ. I ask You to send angels to unearth and break all earthen vessels, bonds, bands and bindings that have been put upon my soul, willingly or unawares.

I ask YOU to have them to free my soul from all bondage by whatever means is required and I agree and say Father, that the power of the Lord Jesus Christ is all powerful and effective to do this.

Now Father, I ask You to send Your angels to gather and restore to its proper place all the pieces of my fragmented mind, will, emotions, appetite, intellect, heart, personality, sub-conscience mind, and bring them into proper and original positions perfectly as You planned them when You formed Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

In the authority of Jesus Christ, I break and cast out and return to the sender, the power of all curses upon my head and all curses upon my soul.

Father, I ask You to send angels to remove any part of another’s soul from me and to put it back into its rightful place within them, in Jesus' name.

"HE RESTORETH MY SOUL." Psalm 23:3

Now Father, I offer up to You that part of my soul that has been replaced within me, and I ask You to cleanse it and sanctify it in Jesus name. Amen.

With Tender Hand

2006-07-02T14:33:00.000-04:00

I want to remind you today of something I shared with you previously. Jesus said, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” Well, guess what? You cannot love your neighbor or anyone else around you unless you first love yourself! I want you to answer this question out loud – do you love yourself as Jesus wants you to, with a healthy self respect? Do you tend to your own heart needs? Do you speak up when others cross the boundaries of what is acceptable to you? I want to tell you that Jesus spoke up when the Scribes and Pharisees crossed over the lines of what was acceptable or not! If you’ll take time to look into the New Testament and see the words that He spoke to them you will be amazed at what you find! Somewhere along the line we have been convinced by our “churchy” environment that we should lay down and take everything like a doormat and never utter a word of resistance! This is WRONG! Jesus did not do this except when it came to laying down His life for our redemption. The whole point of His ministry was to FREE the captives, heal the broken-hearted, set the prisoners free, etc. That means US! As women in abusive relationships, we have somewhere along the line lost our sense of who we are and what we were meant to be as well as our own respect for ourselves. I want to point you today to Jesus, the great emancipator who is our glory and the LIFTER up of our head! Won’t you allow Him to reach into your life today and lift you too?

With Tender Hand

2006-06-27T12:35:00.000-04:00

Let me tell you a little story that helped me. If you have a dog and by accident you step on the dog’s tail – what does the dog do? Yes it yelps and jumps up and lets you know that stepping on its tail HURT! As women in abusive relationships we allow our tails to be stepped on (so to speak) without yelping and letting it be known what hurts us. If that dog did not yelp and let you know it was hurt when you stepped on it you would probably continue to step on its tail without any concern. Do you see where I’m going with this? In healthy relationships we let it be known what is hurtful to us – if the other person responds with kindness (which is what we hope for) then we know there is hope for continuance in that relationship. If on the other hand, that person just stomps on the tail all the harder and more frequently we then know we must get out of such an environment. If you saw someone else abusing an animal in such a manner what would you do? Undoubtedly, you would try to rescue it. Ok ladies, we need to value ourselves as much as we do our pets! Jesus said, we are of more value than the sparrows and not one sparrow falls on the ground without our Father’s knowledge! I am praying as you read this you feel loved and valuable to the Father up above who is constantly reaching out to you and trying to enfold you in His love!

With Tender Hand

2006-06-26T23:54:00.000-04:00

I want to remind you today of something I shared with you in the last blog. Jesus said, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” Well, guess what? You cannot love your neighbor or anyone else around you unless you first love yourself! I want you to answer this question out loud – do you love yourself as Jesus wants you to, with a healthy self respect? Do you tend to your own heart needs? Do you speak up when others cross the boundaries of what is acceptable to you? I want to tell you that Jesus spoke up when the Scribes and Pharisees crossed over the lines of what was acceptable or not! If you’ll take time to look into the New Testament and see the words that He spoke to them you will be amazed at what you find! Somewhere along the line we have been convinced by our “churchy” environment that we should lay down and take everything like a doormat and never utter a word of resistance! This is WRONG! Jesus did not do this except when it came to laying down His life for our redemption. The whole point of His ministry was to FREE the captives, heal the broken-hearted, set the prisoners free, etc. That means US! As women in abusive relationships, we have somewhere along the line lost our sense of who we are and what we were meant to be as well as our own respect for ourselves. I want to point you today to Jesus, the great emancipator who is our glory and the LIFTER up of our head! Won’t you allow Him to reach into your life today and lift you too?

With Tender Hand

2006-06-26T23:49:00.000-04:00

These words from a song always make me pray for you who are in abusive relationships and still hurting:

"I heard that you were hurting, that you were suffering pain But I didn't dare just turn my head and look the other way For when your heart is aching, my heart is aching too Let me help you bear you burden, that's the least that I can do"

These lines from the song "Standing In The Gap" truly express my heart and thoughts as I think of each of you. Your emails touch my heart and I continually lift you and your situation up in my prayers. I know that Jesus loves you and cares about your pain.
I want you to realize this week that in order for your situation to change, you need to start loving yourself in a healthy manner. Jesus said that we were to "love our neighbor as we love ourselves" You cannot love your neighbor or anyone else the way you should or could unless you are loving yourself in a healthy manner. I encourage you to take some time today to think about how you can do this a little better. What really is sheer enjoyment to you? It may be something very simple, but you need to allow yourself (that walk in the park, that bubble bath, time by yourself, or whatever it is). When you start to love yourself and treat yourself with respect, those around you will start to treat you differently also.

With Tender Hand

2006-06-14T23:21:00.000-04:00

Another verse from the hymn, “He Lifted Me”, that I want to share with you today:
“His brow was pierced with many a thorn,
His hands by cruel nails were torn
When from my guilt and grief forlorn,
In love He lifted me.”

Something that really helped me when I was spending more time crying than anything else, was the realization that Jesus “was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief” – I don’t know how that hits you – but it opened my eyes to know that I was not alone in my grief. It made me feel that maybe Jesus did care. He did, I just could not perceive it then. I want you to know that abuse is very real and there are no “pat” answers. Christians have all sorts of “remedies” for us that when we hear we just want to scream – “shut up” you don’t know what you’re saying, it doesn’t work for me.” When Jesus came to the tomb of Lazarus it says, “He wept.” He did not weep because Lazarus was dead or because He did not know what to do – He wept with his friends as he experienced their grief! I just want you to know today that HE feels your griefs, His heart is touched with your pain. I know our Savior cares. May this thought bring comfort to your dear heart today.

With Tender Hand

2006-04-28T12:48:00.000-04:00

Another verse of the hymn, "He Lifted Me"

“In loving-kindness Jesus came,
My soul in mercy to reclaim,
And from the depths of sin and shame
Thro’ grace He lifted me.”

I know we often think of salvation in regards to those words but for me it was from the depths of the sin and shame of an abusive relationship. I felt enclosed in darkness, until “with tender hand” HE lifted me! I want to remind you once again that you do NOT deserve to be abused! You are precious to the Lord. Please do not believe that you are “stuck” – there are many steps you can take to move yourself forward. Most importantly if you or your children are in physical danger, please remove yourself immediately from your surroundings!

The national hotline # is 1-800-799-7233

With Tender Hand

2006-04-27T21:36:00.000-04:00

The words “With Tender Hand” come from an old hymn written by Charles H. Gabriel

“From sinking sand He lifted me,
With tender hand He lifted me,
From shades of night to planes of light,
O praise His name He lifted me!”

I am thankful that it is “with tender hand” that He lifts us. He does not “yank” us into line or “yank” us out of our situation but “with His tender hand” outstretched to us He gently lifts us out of abusive situations, as we are able to grasp that outstretched hand. Jesus also heals our hurting, broken hearts over time. I know He can and will do this for you if you will allow Him to.

Whatever situation this finds you in today, remember we are praying for you. Know that you are loved by your Father in Heaven and are precious in His sight! No one deserves to be abused!

"Jesus said, "Woman, thou art loosed." He did not call her by name. He
wasn't speaking to her just as a person. He spoke to her femininity. He
spoke to the song in her. He spoke to the lace in her. Like a crumbling
rose, Jesus spoke to what she could, and would, have been. I believe
the Lord spoke to the twinkle that existed in her eye when she was a
child; to the girlish glow that makeup can never seem to recapture. He
spoke to her God-given uniqueness. He spoke to her gender." T.D. Jakes

I pray that as you read these words and think of the story of the Infirmed Woman
of Luke 13 you also will hear Jesus speak to your heart saying, "Woman Thou Art
Loosed!"

Remember, abuse is not LOVE and LOVE is not abuse!

Abuse Is Not Love - Love Is Not Abuse

2006-04-06T14:39:00.000-04:00

Abuse is not

is not abuse!

Nearly one-third of all Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year. These women are our daughters, sisters, mothers and friends. Domestic violence is everybody's problem, and everybody needs to be part of the solution.

Abuse is not Love - Love is not abuse—communicates a simple but powerful and indisputable message: a loving relationship should never involve abusive or violent behavior.
This is a problem that won't go away until everyone is aware of what they can do to prevent it. We live in a society that, by its silence, tolerates violence. Don't stand on the sidelines—stand up.

Relationship Violence.

Break the silence.

Be part of the solution.

Suggested Action Steps for Women

Think about relationship abuse as a major social problem that touches the lives of women of all social, economic and racial backgrounds. Focus on the ways in which you, as an empowered bystander, can support at-risk women and girls and confront abusive men.
If you are being emotionally, psychologically or physically abused in an intimate relationship, or have been in the past, seek professional help NOW. If you suspect that your sister, friend, co-worker or neighbor is being abused, let her know you're there to support her.
Familiarize yourself with the resources for women in your community including women's centers, counseling centers and health service organizations. Be a positive resource for women close to you by sharing information and making appropriate referrals.
Support women and men who are working to end men's violence against women. Get involved with a local women's organization. If you belong to a community group, organize a fundraiser to benefit battered women's shelters and rape crisis centers.
Help to educate and empower girls not to tolerate abuse or sexism. Get involved with youth outreach and mentoring programs in local high schools and middle schools.

Suggested Action Steps for Men

Approach relationship abuse as a men's issue involving men of all social, economic and racial backgrounds. Recognize men not only as perpetrators or potential offenders, but as bystanders who can confront abusive males, as well as potential victims.
If you are a father, coach, teacher, uncle, older brother or mentor, you can play a crucial role in guiding the boys in your life into manhood and into positive relationships as they grow older—by teaching them about respect, showing them how to deal with conflict, and setting an example of how to build healthy relationships. By starting a conversation about relationship abuse, your actions demonstrate that this is an issue that can be discussed thoughtfully and openly.
If you have a son, brother, friend, co-worker or neighbor who is abusing his partner, don't look the other way! Urge him to seek help or, if you don't know what to do, consult a friend, family member, community leader or the police.
SPEAK OUT! If you suspect that a woman you know is being abused, gently ask if you can help.
While most victims of relationship abuse are female, boys can be emotionally or physically abused as well. Boys can be abused by their girlfriends, and they can also be abused by another boy if they are in a same-sex relationship. Either way, let them know that the abuse is not their fault, and that they have nothing to feel ashamed of. Encourage them to seek help.
Be an ally to women who are working to end all forms of relationship violence.
Support women's organizations. If you belong to a community group, organize a fundraiser to benefit a local service organization (i.e. a battered women's shelter or rape crisis center).

Take Care in Your Home

Reject any form of violence against women and children.
Educate yourself and your children about family violence.

Take Action in Your Community

Volunteer and contribute to local shelters, hotlines and outreach agencies.
Support victims of abuse trying to change their lives.
Encourage anti-violence workplace seminars and curricula in schools.
Urge your legislators to address domestic violence.

Suggested Action Steps for Teens*

Talking to a friend dealing with relationship violence can make an enormous difference to her. She is probably feeling very isolated and alone.
When talking to a friend you think might be abused, there are several key things to keep in mind:

Listen to what she has to say, and don't be judgmental.
Let her know you are there for her whenever she needs to talk, and that you are worried about her.
Let her know that you won't tell anyone she doesn't want you to about her situation—and then keep your word (unless you fear for her physical safety).
Be specific about why you are concerned - "I felt bad when I saw him insult you in front of all of us. He doesn't have the right to treat you that way. What did you think about it?"
Let your friend know you won't stand by and let the behavior continue.
Find someone knowledgeable about abuse that she can talk to, and volunteer to go with her.

When talking to a friend who is being abusive, here are some tips to keep in mind:

Be specific about what you saw and how it made you feel.
Make sure he realizes that his actions have consequences, and he could get into serious trouble—from getting expelled from school to going to jail.
Urge him to get help, from a counselor, coach, or any trusted adult, and offer to go with him if he wants support.
Let him know that you care about him, and that you know he has it in him to change.
Let her know you are there for her whenever she needs to talk, and that you are worried about her.
Most guys who hurt their girlfriends don't consider themselves "batterers"—many are in denial about the severity of their actions. It's hard for us, as their friends, to believe it, too. But reaching out and talking to a friend we think is being violent in his relationship is truly an act of friendship, though it may seem like the hardest thing you can do.

You can also consider talking with an adult:

Write down what you need from the adult, what you want them to be like. Make sure they have your best interests at heart. It might be a parent, a teacher, a school counselor, a coach, or a friend's parent. Chart out all the adults you know and figure out who is your best ally.
If you think your friend is in physical danger, but she doesn't want to seek any help, go ahead and tell an adult you trust yourself.
If you are concerned that a friend is being abusive, it can also be helpful to talk to an adult, either with your friend or by yourself if he doesn't admit the problem or refuses to go with you. Go to an adult you trust, one who you think will get your friend the help he needs and stick by you and support you for talking to them.

Abuse Information Quiz

2006-04-05T23:19:00.000-04:00

Abuse Relationship Info

What are the signs of an abusive relationship? How can you tell if you are being abused?Here are some questions to ask yourself.

Does your spouse:

Verbal Abuse
* criticize you?
* call you names?

Spousal Abuse
* get jealous easily?
* disregard your thoughts and feelings?
* prevent you from going to work or school?
* control your finances?

Emotional abuse
* prevent you from seeing your family and friends?
* pressure you for sex?

Physical Abuse
* hit, kick, push or choke you?
* threaten to hurt or kill you or your loved ones?
* scare you in any way?

More FAQ click here
If you or your children are in immediate danger, please call your local authorities.

National hotline # 1-800-799-7233